What is earnest money, and do I get it back?
Earnest money is a good-faith deposit — made within days of your offer being accepted — held in escrow and credited toward your costs at closing. It's not an extra fee. Cancel within your contract's protections and you typically get it back.
Earnest money is your "I'm serious" deposit: money placed in escrow shortly after the seller accepts your offer, showing you have real skin in the game. Here's the reframe that calms most buyers down — it is not a fee. If the purchase closes, every dollar is credited toward your down payment and closing costs. You were always going to spend it; you just spend it early.
Where it sits and who holds it
The deposit goes to a neutral third party — typically the title company or closing agent, in an escrow account — never into the seller's pocket. How much to offer is its own strategic question, covered in how much earnest money to put down.
When you get it back — and when you don't
Your contract's contingencies are the protections: cancel within the inspection, financing, or appraisal windows your contract provides, and the deposit typically comes back to you. Walk away outside those windows, and it's at risk. That turns deadlines into money — which is why tracking every contingency date is a core part of what I do for buyers.
One practical warning
The deposit is usually due within a few days of acceptance, sent by wire or check to the escrow holder. Before wiring anything, verify the instructions by phone with the title company directly — wire-fraud emails impersonating closing agents are a real and ugly scam, and thirty seconds of verification defeats it.
Handled right, earnest money is just your own cash arriving early, protected the whole way. I make sure my buyers' deposits stay exactly that safe.
This answer is general education, not legal, tax, or financial advice. Your situation is unique — let's talk through the specifics together.